A Word of Advice
by pagerunner
Summary: Because in RPG-land, everyone's a little in love with the hero. Garrus approaches Thane for a chat early on in the Shepard/Thane romance, with a few words of caution and advice - and gets a few unsettling questions of his own. Shepard/Thane, Shepard/Garrus UST, past Shepard/Kaidan inferred.


On the day Garrus decided he had to talk to Thane, he found the assassin in, of all places, the bar.

Kasumi had made it clear that everyone was welcome to enjoy the refreshments in her quarters at any time, except when she was trying to sleep. Garrus' suspicion was that she enjoyed listening in on the chatter and gossip. She didn't seem to be in residence just now - which didn't, of course, mean that she wasn't skulking about the air ducts somewhere, keeping her skills honed and boredom at bay - but the visible evidence indicated that he and Thane had the space to themselves. So Garrus sidled up to the bar, offering a casual greeting. "Hey, Krios. Wondered if I'd find you in here."

Thane nodded and made a small gesture with his free hand. "Pull up a seat."

Garrus did, studying the glass Thane held in the other. Wine, from the looks of it. Thane caught the scrutiny and smiled. "I admit, I've grown fond of Earth wines. They have an astounding variety of fruit there."

"And all of it useless to me, but if it works for you, drink up." Garrus found a bottle of the dextro brandy. "So what brought you here tonight to… well…."

"Sample humanity's finest?"

Garrus snorted softly. "You said it, not me."

With that, Thane subtly lifted one eyebrow. Garrus gave him an ironic toast and admitted, "All right, that may be why _I _came by."

"So. Tortured metaphors aside… you've heard about me and Shepard."

Garrus had, all right. And he'd been intending to come at that topic a little less directly, but now that they were here…. well. He paused a moment to think it through. Shepard and Thane had been doing their best to be subtle, of course, but they'd been moving in ever-closer circles for a while, and Garrus knew Shepard too well not to notice _something _was up. Besides, in a contained space like the Normandy, gossip about that sort of thing spread faster than scale itch. Between Chambers getting her nose into everything, Lawson watching the commander like a hawk, Mordin taking such close medical interest in _everyone, _EDI having an all-access pass throughout the ship, and Kasumi snooping into everything just for fun….

"Secrets don't last long on a ship," Garrus agreed. "But I guess you'd know that."

Thane sighed at that last, even though something of a smile still lingered around his lips. "I do. It's just been so long… I've been used to working alone. One can… forget."

"And that explains more than it doesn't," Garrus said, almost to himself.

Thane took a drink and considered Garrus thoughtfully. "Do you have opinions on this?"

"Opinions? It's none of _my _business. Not the details, anyway. But I guess I wanted to know if you were serious about this. About… her." He paused. "Not that you aren't usually serious. But you know what I mean."

"You're wondering as to my intentions."

"That's the blunt version, but… yeah."

Thane, whose glass was empty now, tilted it in midair and then set it aside. The next tumbler he chose, he filled with something smooth and golden. From the looks of the label, it was also far more potent. Garrus chuckled low in his throat.

"It's not an interrogation, Krios," he said. "Not unless you have anything to hide."

"Nothing harmful to her or the rest of you, I assure you." He drank deep, grimaced slightly and then glanced at Garrus again. "I should have guessed you'd want to know what I was after. You are one of her most loyal protectors."

"Oh, trust me, she can hold her own."

"Yet here you are, making sure."

Garrus shrugged a little. "Habits."

"Yes," he said softly. After a minute he added, "I don't mind explaining, but I may need to give you some context first."

"I've got time."

Thane thought about it and then folded his hands upon the bar. When he spoke again, he'd taken on that almost eerie calm that so often shielded him. "I believe I mentioned I was once married. That my wife was killed."

"Yes," Garrus said slowly. "You did."

Thane nodded. "Emotional detachment afterward became… necessary. For years I existed solely for my work. I haven't allowed myself to feel such love or affection for anyone since."

Garrus flinched at the hollowness to Thane's voice, but he also asked, with a skeptical note in his voice, "You mean there wasn't anyone? At _all?"_

Thane's expression quirked. "If you're asking about more physical needs…."

"We've all got them, last I checked. Except maybe for the salarians. I'm still not sure how that damn race survives."

"I wouldn't enquire too deeply into the hanar or elcor, either," Thane said wryly. He took another sip before he conceded, "As for me… yes. I found partners once or twice. It was an empty endeavor, however, and it disturbed me to think of using others so selfishly, even if they were willing. Mostly I denied it of myself, tried to channel the energy into something else. So even that… was a long time ago."

Garrus shook his head. The turian crews he'd been in thought little of casual sexual relations; they felt it was more productive to blow off the steam and be done with it, instead of letting everything seethe under the surface and cause trouble later. He couldn't imagine going for years without _some_ sort of outlet. Thane was either better at self-control than anyone he'd ever met, or there was a serious firecracker under there waiting to blow.

_Not that Shepard might not find that entertaining, _he thought. _But still… _

"How does all that lead up to this, then?" Garrus asked at last, deciding it was safest to stick to the view from orbit. "Because really, you're talking about going from nothing and no one to Commander fucking Shepard-"

He stumbled to a stop, immediately regretting his choice of words. Mostly because Thane was wearing that barely-there smile again. "Um," Garrus added awkwardly. "No puns intended."

"None assumed," Thane said, still sounding amused. Then his expression softened. Garrus still found it fascinating, watching faces like his, or for that matter like Shepard's; their faces were so mobile that every hint of emotion showed so clearly. In Thane's case, since he was usually so careful about controlling himself, it was especially striking.

"Shepard…. compelled me to move beyond what I was," he said at last. "She has such purpose. Such drive, And when I'm with her… I feel like she's reawakened me. That I'm finally truly alive."

Something twinged deep in Garrus' gut, something he wasn't quite ready to put a name to. He hitched one shoulder instead and said, "I think all of us feel inspired by her. Sorta goes with the territory. But loving her…." He hesitated. "Well, it's not like you'd be the first, I guess."

With that said, Garrus braced himself, because he was sure now that Thane would ask about Kaidan. Instead, though, Thane turned to him and said, "Do you?"

Garrus nearly dropped his glass. "Me? You're asking if I-"

"Feel something for her. Yes."

"Um. Wow. I'd never…." He paused, not sure how to continue. He'd been on the verge of saying _I'd never thought about it, _but that was sort of a lie. It had just never been so fully formed an idea in his head, either, and he felt like he was stumbling around something too big and strange to see properly. "Spirits, I don't know. If I ever met a turian woman like her…" He shivered. "Hell, yes. But Shepard is who she is, and you wouldn't get someone like her any other way. And… well. Turians and humans aren't the most compatible match in the galaxy, you might have noticed. We've sort of fought wars about it."

"At the time, understandably. But on a more personal level…."

Garrus shook his head. "The logistics alone… I'm really not sure how that would work."

"According to some publications, it's possible," Thane said dryly. Garrus nearly choked.

"Some publications," he said after he collected himself, "have too much imagination. Besides… I'd rather keep her trust as her partner than mess it up wishing things were different."

At that, they both fell silent. Thane finally said, as if prodding gently into what Garrus hadn't quite said, "Sex isn't the _only_ consideration."

"Yeah, but it matters." Garrus sighed, suspecting distantly that he might not have kept talking if it hadn't been for the brandy. "You're lucky, you know. I mean… you've got a much better chance at making that work than I do. As far as I know."

Thane's expression went a little wry. Drell physiology did seem awfully similar to human, although Garrus was vague on some of the particulars. Thane tended to be more private than the rest of the crew, and since he avoided the showers - he stuck to sponge-bathing to avoid breathing in too much steam - Garrus had seen somewhat less of him than he had other crew members. Still….

"I never expected to feel like this about someone so different, either," Thane said. "I hope I'm not reaching beyond what I should."

"Well," Garrus said heavily. "There's a conversation."

Thane frowned. "Your meaning?"

Garrus rubbed one hand across his forehead. He was, again, about to stumble into more than he'd meant to say so plainly, but now there didn't seem to be any other option.

"Listen. I can't speak for Shepard or what she wants or needs. What I can tell you, though… is that so many people want a piece of her, for so many reasons and so many causes, and… she got hurt last time for not standing up for someone else's ideal when she didn't actually have any other choice." He breathed in deep, then exhaled. "I don't want to see that happen again. She doesn't deserve it. Whatever you think you need from her to be whole? That's not her problem."

Thane sat very still. He'd tensed a little, just enough to make Garrus' own nerves prickle. "I have considered this. For that matter, I seem to recall you asking her for personal help as well…."

Garrus felt weary, thinking back on Sidonis. "I know. And I shouldn't have. I got her into the middle of a mess that was my own damn fault. Never again." His mandibles twitched. "Just… consider it advice with some experience to back it up, all right?"

Thane nodded slowly. "I can accept that." Then that smile returned - but looking stranger this time, almost a little sad. "And I think you just answered my question."

Garrus didn't know what to say. This time he didn't try. Meanwhile, Thane reached for a bottle again - but didn't pour for himself. "I should go back to tea," he said, as he pushed Garrus' re-filled tumbler back across the bar to him. "I can see I'll need to stay sharp around you."

"We might both have the same problem," Garrus said, his voice dry. He washed it down with a drink. "But I'll take the brandy, thanks."

There was silence again, more companionable this time. Garrus found himself remembering his first meeting with Shepard back on the Citadel. He'd had no clue back then what all he'd been in for. But if he could talk to himself then, give his younger self some advice….

He snorted softly. No sense in kidding himself. He would have said to go into it whole-heartedly, and never look back.

"She's worth it, Thane," Garrus said. "Just don't fuck it up."

"I'd never allow myself to," Thane answered quietly. "My arm is hers for as long as I'm capable. And my heart is hers for as long as she wants it."

Garrus thought about it. No matter his reservations, no matter his own buried wishes, that answer had sounded genuine, and the sentiment… he could appreciate. "That'll do," he said after a minute.

Thane nodded. The tiniest hint of a sigh passed by his lips. "And that's fortunate."

Garrus gave him an inquisitive look. Thane returned it with another ghost of a smile. "I have no illusions," Thane said. "I may best you in hand-to-hand, and you have no answer for my biotics… but I know better than to anger a sniper of your skill."

Garrus chuckled. Coming from Thane, who was no slouch at that either, that was an honest compliment. "Don't you forget it," he said.

"Indeed." Thane got up from his chair then, nodded a polite farewell, and turned to go. It was quiet in his wake. Garrus, in fact, had assumed Thane had already gone when the man paused at the open doorway, and thought of one last thing to say. "No matter what happens… I'm glad she has people like you at her side, Vakarian. Your devotion and your insight do you credit."

Garrus lifted his head, unsure again what to say to that. He wasn't sure what to make of Thane's expression now, either. He'd gone very still, and his dark gaze was inscrutable.

"Besides," Thane said softly. "I won't be around forever."

Garrus looked aside, guessing uncomfortably at what he meant. He thought of Thane's illness, and then thought of the war - of Cerberus, and the Reapers, and the unfathomable forces gathering against them. Garrus managed what he could of his own sort of smile and answered, his voice sardonic, "Who will?"

Thane silently stepped back. The door slid closed, and Garrus turned back to his drink. With the thought of Shepard foremost in his mind, he raised his glass in one last silent toast, and finished the drink alone.


End file.
